Everyone Will Be Looking at Me? Cool Cool Cool...

Walking into a room of 200 people staring at me isn't everyone's idea of fun, and it definitely isn't mine.

I prefer to be in the background. That's why I'm an event planner! I feel most comfortable in my all black outfit holding a clipboard. But, on my wedding day? I was expected to be the CENTER of attention, wearing white and letting other people do all the work around me. All. Day. Long. Cue the anxious sweating.

When Kirk and I got engaged, we knew we wanted to have a wedding. We set a date and made a budget and got to work on our guest list. We had a vision for the decor and knew we wanted to serve breakfast for dinner (a nod to our breakfast engagement and favorite Sunday pastime). We knew how we wanted the "guest experience" to be like and we knew which items we wanted to splurge on.

But here's the part I couldn't figure out: how to be invisible on the day when I'd literally be followed around by a photographer and expected to chat with dozens of people.

The problem was: I wanted the wedding.

I wanted the wedding photos and the wedding memories. I wanted to have my make up and hair professionally styled while sipping on coffee with my best friends. I wanted to share my first dance with my dad because I knew it was important to him. I wanted the world to know I'd found my person and I wanted my nana to see me in a wedding dress.

I just didn't want 200 people staring at me when I did it.

So, what do you do when you want all of the memories without anyone paying attention to you?

Unfortunately, I didn't figure that out.

But I did learn to curate a day that felt like a soft landing. It became something beautiful, comfortable, and true to us.

Since then, I’ve coordinated dozens of weddings — and bonded with plenty of fellow Anxious Brides along the way. I’ve learned to spot the signs, soften the stress, and help create a day that feels calm, meaningful, and actually fun (with only minimal sweating involved).

Through my experience, both personal and professional, I’ve put together a go-to list of tips to help anxious brides (and grooms!) feel more at ease on the big day.

Think of this as your "Wedding Day Anxiety Cheat Sheet" ⬇️

1. Limit your guest list

   Kirk and I had 100 people at our wedding. Keeping the crowd smaller helped ease that pressure to “work the room.” It also meant we were surrounded only by people we genuinely felt comfortable around.

   
   

2. Choose vendors who make you feel comfortable

   That dreaded feeling of being followed around by a photographer all day? It completely disappeared once we booked Christopher Chase Photography. He got me. He knew I was a Nervous Nelly and did everything he could to keep things light, natural, and low-pressure. He even picked up on some tricky family dynamics and gently stepped in as a buffer when needed.

   
   

3. Design your day around you

   Hate being the center of attention? Skip the grand entrance.

   Prefer not to hug every single person you've ever met? No receiving line for you!

   
   

   Gone are the days when you had to follow a rulebook of “shoulds” or "traditions." You’re allowed to make it up as you go, and you don’t owe anyone a wedding that drains you.

   
   

4. Build in alone time

   Find small moments throughout the day to be alone with your fiancé. A few quiet minutes after the ceremony, a private dinner, a breather after your first look, or a private last dance—these built-in breaks can help recharge your social battery without taking away from the celebration.

   
   

   Spoiler: Guests literally never realize this is happening. If you disappear for a bit, they’ll assume you’re taking more photos, signing the license, bustling your dress, or catching up with someone. As Mel Robbins said, "Let Them."

   
   

5. Tell your vendors - we've got your back!

   Seriously, TELL US! If you're feeling overwhelmed, anxious, or just plain over it, let us know! We can adjust how we work to better support you. At Something Borrowed, we love helping you feel confident and grounded. Think of us as your all-in-one hype girl and bodyguard who also happens to carry a ton of zip ties and a phone charger.

   
   

You can be anxious and have an amazing wedding.

You can be socially awkward and radiant.

You don’t have to fake extroversion to enjoy your big day.

Let it be a reflection of you, quirks, nerves, and all.

You’ve got this. And we’ve got you. Anxious Brides unite!

About the Author

Summer has been planning events since she could talk. From her sister’s Spongebob-themed birthday at age 7 to Hopkins County’s first (and only) “End of Middle School Blowout” (every ticket came with a free hot dog, and yes, the DJ brought a fog machine), she’s always had a knack for bringing people together and making it memorable.

In college, she hosted everything from sorority formals to nonprofit fundraisers, and today her experience spans hundreds of nonprofit and corporate events, concerts, festivals, and more weddings, birthdays, reunions and showers than she can count.

If you're looking for an event planner with an eye for detail, a heart for people, and just the right amount of bossiness to keep things running like clockwork, Summer’s your girl.